As real as it gets

The shrill scream broke through the
Night air. Even the dog stopped.
The screaming stopped. It was followed by a sharp report. Once, twice, three times. Then silence. A door slams, and a car peals out.
I might have just witnessed a murder.
I walk the dog home and lock the door. I didn't witness shit.
I've become numb, i could care less about others. Humanity is trying to flush itself down the toilet. I say let it, and sit on the seat top so it can't claw it's way back out.
Love is nuts. You can't control it, you can't predict it. You can't even get rid of it. A hundred times I've said the same thing. Patiently waiting, living life. One day you'll find your courage. The courage to be happy.
Human beings weren't meant to sit inside all day. I read every single word. Like heroin for a junkie.
You aren't just in my bloodstream, you are the heart. You can't destroy something freely given.
The humidity is so thick you can reach out and touch it. Literally. It started misting to relieve some of the weight of the air. My air is already running. It's so warm.
This would be so much easier in text. But it always leads to the same. I cannot be the first. My conditions haven't changed. And so it's a Mexican standoff. But be warned, you can't deny the desire forever, it will consume you.
No smiles. No happy eyes.

The best artists, writers, directors, actors are all dark and suffering. They have a love lost that haunts them and motivates their works. It's the way it has to be. I could never be creative loved.