Down the drain

The water cascaded down his face,  pouring through his hair,  trickling past eyes,  waterfalling off his nose and getting lost with the rest of the water falling to the floor.  For a moment,  he let the water flow through his mouth washing him clean.  The water was hot enough to create some steam, giving him the feeling that he was floating in the clouds.  He so wanted to get lost right now.
The shower poured down on him, but he would never be washed clean of his guilt. Some things haunt you forever. All his life, he had lived to the fullest, enjoying every minute, having no regrets. Until he met her. She changed everything. Every rule broken, every taboo revealed. Within such a short time, he knew her inside and out, like she was a part of him. He had never intended to let anyone in, but before he knew it age has taken up residence in his soul. A part of him.
He watched the water run down his arms, the water distorting the tattoos slightly. He wondered, briefly, if his love for tattoos were in some way his repentance for how he had behaved. Even distorted he could make out the skeleton key and lock. His heart on his sleeve. Such an apt metaphor.
He sighed deeply, the water was never going to wash away his guilt. The guilt of leaving, the guilt of loving, the guilt of longing, it ate his soul, drove him mad with desire, and never went away. Maybe that was why he was the way he was, messed up in the head, maybe it was all someone else's fault.
He smiled wryly, if only that were true. But he couldn't blame anyone other than himself for the choices he has made. Right or wrong, it was a choice. And he stood by it. Even when the longing drove him mad.
He turned off the water, it was doing no good anymore, he would never get the filth from inside out of him. He was cursed in that regards, damaged goods. The water flowed down his skin to the floor, and he just stood there watching it all drain away.
For some reason, he felt there should be some moral here, some heart wrenching decision, something. Maybe someone would burst into the bathroom and attack him. Nothing. The water was gone and he was empty again. But that was just the way life was.

Duty

There's a saying,  duty is heavier than a mountain,  death lighter than a feather.  So true.  So very true.  Life is changing constantly,  sometimes good,  sometimes bad, but the status quo rarely lasts for long.
So many responsibilities.  I'm not sure what happened,  how it got to be this way.  I used to believe being single meant you were free to go where you wanted when you wanted.  But my bills and debts speak otherwise.  Car note, hopefully soon to be house note,  student loans, etc etc.  Bills that must be paid.  Someone recently offered me a chance to move to Belize in two years.  I don't think I could leave the country simply because of the amount of debt that I'm in.  Choices.  My choices have led me here. 
I know I shouldn't be writing this.  I can't discuss anything in the open anymore.  Too many of the wrong type paying attention to my inner thoughts.
I'm dozing to sleep,  so I'll with this.  It's the little things that let me know. It's not the smile on your face,  or anything that people would notice.  But I do.  The fleur-de-lis,  symbols.  They connect us even through death.  Once a part of my bloodstream,  always a part of my bloodstream.  Gone but never forgotten.  How could i?

Escape

No matter how far you run,  how fast,  or how long, you can never escape the desire inside. 
I am the hulk.  I want to smash things. Because I hurt. 

Because I am alone. 

Because you aren't here. 

Never escaping.  Always running.

I'm tired.

Water runs by

It was the silence of a babbling brook. The utter perfect stillness of nature. A sound he had been seeking for so long, it sounded like pure heaven. It was a stillness that couldn't be duplicated. No sound machine would ever effectually capture the special quality that could only be found away from distractions.
His life was nothing but a constant distraction these days. There was no pretending it was otherwise. One job decreased only to have another opportunity present itself. Choices made, decisions, and there was no turning back now. Doctors giving him bad news, forcing him to change his life or die. Yes, life was full of stress.
But this, this little oasis, this was peace. He sat down beside the stream, gazing wistfully into its clear waters. He missed her. That would never change. He would always miss her. Because he couldn't be with her. Despite everything, that was all he ever wanted, attention. Sighing sadly, he gazed into the waters again. Like water down the stream, the time for regrets had passed. He had done the only thing he knew how to solve the problem. He had walked away. At least, tried his best. It's hard to walk away from your heart, your bloodstream.
Licking his lips in thirst, he dipped his cup into the stream. The water was pure and cool. Refreshing. Sating his thirst, he laid back thinking of her again.
Drifting off to sleep, he wondered if he would at least see her in a dream?

New song

https://youtu.be/nL17slQ8pWg

Dirty little story

She opened her eyes. Everything was black. She knew it should be daylight, but she couldn't see anything. After a few seconds, she realized she was blindfolded. Her heart started beating fast. What had happened. When she had gone to sleep, everything had been fine. She went to raise her arm to remove the blindfold, but couldn't. Her arm was tied up. With that realization, she became acutely aware of her body. She was completely tied up, spread slightly eagle on the bed. She could move slightly, it wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't expected.
Unable to see, unable to move, her other senses starred to compensate. She could feel the air on her skin, so she knew was naked. There was a fan blowing, she could feel the breeze blowing on her pussy. It was distracting, it felt good. She always had this fantasy about being tied up. She felt a warmth in her abdomen, she was turned on. But also frightened.
She had gone over to her friends house last night, and after a few glasses of wine and some dirty talk, had gone home with the flirtatious guy. He had been fantastic in bed, her pussy was still aching with the amount of sex. Aching for more. She needed a big cock inside her right now. Her nipples grew tight with desire, her pussy was on fire, but she had no way of releasing the flood gates.
While she lay there, turned on and on agony, she heard the sound of someone breathing. Was there someone else in the room? "Hello?" She called out. After sex, she had fallen asleep with him. She woke up like this. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she didn't have control, while that thought alone had her pussy leaking, it also frightened her.
She heard slow shuffling steps until whomever it was was right beside her. A moment of silence passed, and then something warm, soft but hard and thick pressed up against her lips. She fought to keep them closed, but it pressed harder. Finally, she could take it no longer, and opened her mouth. It was instantly filled with hard cock. The penis was pressed deep in her mouth, pushing her jaws apart filling her mouth with hard man meat. She wanted to spit it out, she wanted to cry. She wanted to taste it. Slowly she opened her mouth wider and begin to run her tongue along the shaft. It moved out a little, letting her lick the head. She went after it, licking it like a Lollipop. She started sucking and licking, all to the muffled sounds of moaning. She was pouring juices out of her pussy, about to explode. She needed hard cock inside her. And she needed it NOW!
Licking and sucking, she felt the shaft tightened. That was the only warning she had before his hit load filled her mouth. It was salty, bitter and thick. He pushed in deep, she had no choice but to swallow it down her throat. The head of his dick was already there anyway. Load after load she swallowed. She couldn't believe how much cum he had. As soon as he was done, he pulled out and walked away. Her pussy was screaming out for release, her jaws hurt, and she wanted more. Before she do more than take a few deep breaths, another, bigger cock was being pushed at her lips. "There were more people here," she thought. And the thought made her cum as she opened her mouth for the second, but not last cock of the event.
As she was sucking down, she felt fingers gliding down her swollen angry pussy. Before she could even gasp, a cock pushed inside her. She came and came and came, convulsing on the cock pushed deep inside her. With that release, she stopped sucking on the cock in her mouth. That wasn't acceptable as the cock started thrusting fucking her mouth. As she relaxed her jaws to enjoy it, the cock in her pussy started thrusting too. Sinking into a bliss, her only two thoughts were that there better be plenty of cocks, and that this better not be a one time affair.

Echoing in the depths without anyone ever knowing

Due to the graphic nature of this fictional piece, I strongly suggest you don't read this. In fact, I need to stop writing. This is going nowhere.

The pain was less than he imagined, but greater than expected. Nothing he did every worked right, he managed to acre up even the simplest of tasks. His curse, one of many. He just didn't fit in, and wasn't accepted. None of that really mattered anymore.
The water was warm, the right temperature. Everything had been prepared, down to the last detail. You couldn't really leave something like this to chance. He tried to sit back and relax, but it was taking too long. He should have anticipated this. Should have planned for it. Too late now.
He thought about all the decisions that brought him here. The choices, mostly wrong, the people, who he hurt without meaning. He never meant any harm. Just nothing ever went right. He could have given up years ago, but he kept after it, assuming he would eventually get it right. Assumption. Because here he was, screwing it up again.
He knew he was a disappointment. He could tell in people's faces. He could tell he was a failure, no one had to say anything. He had tried hard, people knew that. It simply wasn't enough. It would never be enough, he could never be anything other than what he was.
This was simply taking too long. He had done it right, but it was taking too long. Simply too much time. He didn't want to be thinking about the reasons why, he just wanted it done. He wanted the sweet peace of oblivion that awaited. He just wanted to die in peace.
He looked down at the red water, it would soon be done. He would soon be free.