The Grey Man

He stepped out of his house, a ghost into the fog. No one noticed, no one ever did. 


His life was a life of choices. He had made choices, and walked away. He was never the same again. 


Now his world was grey. He faded into the background. He went to work, at a job where no one really he knew he existed. He had once missed work with the flu, and no one even noticed he was gone. 
Most people would have been saddened by that, but he simply reveled in it. It fit his plan perfectly. He had wanted to disappear. What better way to do that than right before people's eyes?


He bought a non-descriptive car, he wore non-descriptive clothes. He wore no cologne, or bright colors. His clothing was shades of white, black or grey. The kind that blend into the background. His car was a sedate grey. His world was calm. No disturbances. 


He rarely spoke to anyone, although everyone seemed to think he agreed with their views. He would just merely nod his head in affirmation. People took that for agreement and similar beliefs. He just felt it was an appropriate response to someones rant. No one really cared if you listened, they just want to think that you are. He had mastered the art. People would talk, and he just went to another place. 


He kept his private life private. He had no friends, he didn't go out, not to the movies, not to eat. He would go to the grocery store for his supplies and not speak to anyone. He coasted through life a ghost. It was what he wanted. He had been hurt so bad once before, he vowed to never let it happen. 


His life was exactly what he wanted. Until he had a heart-attack. As he lay on the floor wondering if he would see the next day, he realized that by being alone, he had no one. 


And that was his last thought.

Stone

I watched you walk past, you did not see me. I was invisible to you. I could see the tears flow down your face. I knew that it hurt you so, but there was nothing I could say or do. I was simply mute.
I watched you cry your eyes out. I longed to hold you, to comfort you. I longed to put my arms around you and tell you everything would be alright. To tell you I would be strong for you.
I watched you lay there in silence. I knew I should speak, if only I had the words. I saw the tears disappear, saw your heart harden. I knew all it would take was a kind word from me to ease your burden. I knew all your troubles, I knew how to fix them. My mouth remained closed, like stone.
I watched you walk away, my heart breaking. I knew I would never see you again. All because of my inability to speak. I can only blame myself. I cried as you left.

Dust Bowl Dance

He looked out the window. It was still strange looking at the rudimentary bars over it. He was so used to roaming free. But now he was locked in this jail cell awaiting the executioner. So strange for him, but he felt no remorse. He had done what he had needed to do. It was right, and he had stood for something. 


He thought about how this had all started. He felt that he could trace it all back to his childhood. He had grown up happy as a child on his family's meager farm. They didn't have much as sharecroppers, and they worked hard. But his parents loved him deeply, and while he may not have had much in the way of material things, he never lacked. 


At the age of sixteen, just as he was starting to come into his own as a man, helping his father every day on the farm, the land-owner decided that it was time to put a new family in the property. And just like that, his family was forced to leave. 


Having nowhere to go, his family moved to nearest city, New Orleans to find work. His father was a farmer, it was all he knew, but his father was determined to provide for his family. Then the war between the states broke out, and his father went to fight. His father knew that the money he made would help support his family. 


That was the last time he saw his father. The money came for a few months, until his father fought in a battle somewhere up in Virginia. Then everything stopped. His mother sewed clothes to help make up for the lack of money, but it wasn't enough, so he went to the docks and soon found work.


He worked hard, and tried his best to help his mother. All the time he kept hoping for his father to return home. But he knew that would probably never happen. Then his mother got sick, and her weak body couldn't fight off the illness. Within a few weeks, she had wasted away and passed on. 


He cried inside for a while, but he never let it show. He was alone in this world full of fighting and sorrow. He no longer wished to be part of this, he felt it was time to return home. So, he sold everything he had, all his belongings except his grandfather's pistol. That he kept. And he set off for his old home, and the simplicity of the countryside. 


Upon reaching home, he found that the wealthy landowner had joined the local militia and was in charge of things. Not wanting the landowner to know who he was, being much older, he gave a different name. Paying the landowner the last bit of money he had, he was able to rent the old house where he had grown up in. 


Putting his all into the land, he soon was producing a nice crop, more than enough to satisfy the landowners demands, and still have food to eat. Life was going good for him, until the day when he heard the screams. Remembering his mother, he quickly sought to investigate. He simply couldn't stand by. So, grabbing his grandfather's pistol he set out.


Approaching the scene, he found a young negro woman being raped by a man in military uniform. Without thinking, he pulled the man off the woman and threw him to the ground. The man grabbed his rifle and jumped up. Without even hesitating, he shot the man square in the chest. This injustice simply couldn't stand. But what he hadn't seen was the other men in uniform with the rapist. His shot killed the young man with deadly accuracy. But he wasn't even able to check on the woman before the other men put their guns in his face. He was told that he had murdered the young man and would hang for this. The war raged on, even here far from the front. Color mattered more than right or wrong it seemed.


He felt no remorse, he had done what he intended to do, he had righted a wrong. 


He was brought before the magistrate, the wealthy landowner. The man was enraged, the murdered man had been his son. When asked why he had committed such an atrocity, he looked the landowner in the face and replied, "Yes sir, yes sir, yes it was me. I went out back and I got my gun. You haven't met me, I am the only son. You took my father from me, so I took your son."


And here he was, facing the noose. He still felt no remorse. Right was right, and wrong was wrong. At least he had been able to right a wrong. 


As the noose was placed around his neck, he was asked if he had any last words. He simply said, "right is right, I may hang, but you will spend eternity regretting what you have done. You can't take from the weak, you can't abuse people. Fate will always catch you." 


And with that, he hung for all to see.

Lies

With your silence,
you lied to me.
With your deceit,
you lied to me.

How you can stand there,
pretending to be innocent?
When I know the depths
you will go to?

In your silence,
you murdered me,
in your innocence,
you disarmed me.

How long will this go on?
How much can I take?
With each word uttered,
I feel my soul being stolen.

In my silence,
I enable,
with my silence
I give approval.

Can we still be silent?

Lily

Lily was excited. She was going to the beach. Her parents had just told her yesterday, they had wanted it to be a surprise. She was so excited.


Lily loved the beach, it was full of all kinds of things. Lily wondered if she would find a neat shell, or maybe she would find a hermit crab. She really wanted a pet this year. Last year, her mommy had told her she wasn't old enough. Well, it was a year later, and Lily was older. She so hoped to be able to bring home a pet.


Lily could barely sit still at school. All day long, she could only think about the warm sun, and the taste of the salt in the air. In her mind, she was already running in and out of the waves, laughing and having fun. She loved the beach so much.


Lily daydreamed about building sandcastles with her daddy, and walking on the beach early in the morning with her mother. It was the best time of the day, those morning walks. Lily cherished them. It was so quiet, and the beach was empty. It was like they were on their own private island. Lily's mother always had a kind word for her, telling her interesting things about waves, and tides, and nature. Lily wanted to feel the water squish between her bare toes as she walked through the surf. 


Lily just barely managed to get through the day. Her teacher could tell she was distracted, and kept having to bring Lily's attention back to her work. Lily couldn't concentrate, she was already sitting at the picnic table sipping lemonade while her grandpa cooked burgers on the grill. Lily was so ready to go.


As she boarded the bus for the ride home, Lily barely noticed the approaching thunderstorm. In her mind, she was laying in the sand, letting the sun beam down on her, she was flying a kite in the wind, and laughing as only a child could.


Lily paid no attention to the other kids on the ride home. She was anxious to get her trip started. Lily knew that her family was leaving for the beach just as soon as she got home from school. She was so excited she was bouncing on her seat.


Lily was so into her world, she never felt the bus driver lose control. She never heard the screeching tires, she never felt herself tumbling end over end as the bus careened down the hillside. Lily never knew when her end came, she was floating on a inner tube, riding the waves up and down, at peace.

Breath held

Isabella watched the sun set. She always loved watching the sun set, it was a glorious array of colors. Yellows, pinks, oranges, reds and blues, a variety of color. The sky would be awash with this gorgeous color and then as the sun set, everything faded into the black of night. Sunset was her favorite time of day, not only because of the color, but because it lead the way to night. And she REALLY loved the night.

Isabella looked down at her watch. It would soon be time for Franklin to show up. She was waiting on him to arrive so that they could go. She had big plans for them tonight, it was their anniversary. Isabella had planned an extravegant night on the town; dinner, dancing, and if she wasn't too tired, then there might just be some fire in the bedroom later.

Isabella smiled to herself. She loved spending time with Franklin. Their jobs didn't allow for much of it, but she savored every single minute. Looking at her watch again, she thought to herself, "He should be here any minute now."

She looked out the window at a car that passed by. It was a brown Taurus,. not Franklin's. Sighing, she watched the car drive past her, past the next building and turn left down the side street. Isabella thought back to the night she first met Franklin. A goofy smile sprang into place on her face. It had been a sultry summer night full of heat and mosquitoes, a night that she would never forget. He had been so nervous, and that just endeared him to her all the more.

Night was settling in good now, she checked her watch again. A slight frown crossed her face, Franklin was late. Franklin was rarely late, and never without calling first. He was super good about that. Isabella saw headlights again, her heart started racing, her breathing quickened. "Surely, this must be Franklin," she supposed.

But it wasn't, it was the same brown Taurus. "Either they are lost, or they are circling looking for a parking spot," she surmised. She really didn't care. The only thing on her mind was seeing Franklin. She longed to be in his arms, staring into his deep blue eyes, listening to his gravelly voice whisper sweet loving nothings into her ear. She felt so safe in his arms, she loved him so much.

She looked down at her watch again, Franklin was really late. Isabella was starting to get a little worried. They had spoken earlier this morning, he had promised Isabella he would be there on time, and he wouldn't be late. The area where she worked, where she was waiting, wasn't the best neighborhood. Isabella didn't feel threatened, but she still didn't like being alone in the quiet night. "You just never know what would happen," she thought. Isabella took precautions, but you could never be too careful.

Isabella sighed. She was a very passive person by nature, but making her wait was a great way to irritate her. "Franklin needs to hurry up." she thought angrily. She was hungry, and tired of waiting. The longer he kept her, the more unresponsive she would be getting later. She didn't like going to such extremes, but sometimes the situation demanded it.

Looking at her watch one last time, she got ready to go. She was tired of waiting, and still no word. Isabella was extremely worried about Franklin. This was so totally unlike him. Keeping her waiting, with no phone call. And he knew she was waiting. She picked up her cell phone to call him. He was fixing to get the rough side of her tongue, she was going to give him a piece of her mind.

Isabella opened her phone. There were 3 missed calls, voicemails, and a text message. Perplexed, she spoke out loud, "I don't remember my phone ringing." Then she saw that her phone was on silent. Checking the missed calls, she saw they were all from Franklin. She decided to read the text before listening to his voicemail.

Opening the text message, Isabella quickly scanned through the message, and then had to go back and re-read it. It said, "I am in trouble. Serious trouble. NO MATTER WHAT, DO NOT GET OUT OF THE CAR IF THERE IS A BROWN CAR NEARBY. It is a matter of life and death."

"What the Fuck?!" Isabella exclaimed. "What kind of sick joke is this?" she wondered. But before she could utter more than that, the brown Taurus came to a screeching halt beside, and three armed men jumped out and ran to her car. Before she knew what was happening, they had ripped her door open, and pulled her from her car.

Isabella tried to scream, but one of the men put his arms around her, one hand over her mouth, and the other wrapping her up securely. Then without any words, they threw her into the back of the car, making her drop her cell phone on the ground. One of the men jumped in her car, the other two followed her into the brown Taurus.

Within minutes of reading the text, both cars and Isabella were gone. The only thing left was her cell phone laying on the ground. And it began to vibrate. It was Franklin, desperately trying to reach Isabella.

But he was simply too late.


(To be continued...)

insignifcant

He kept his eyes down, staring at his desk. He didn't want to speak to anyone today. Hell, even getting out of bed had been a struggle. It would have been so much better to have stayed there. No one bothered him at home.

He watched the other employees file into the office out of the corner of his eye. He could hear their jovial greetings, wishing each other a good morning. No one ventured near him, no one wanted to greet his negativity. He always had a scathing remark for them, over time they had learned to avoid him.

He had what he wanted, solitude. No one bothered him, no one spoke to him. It only made his depression deepen. He longed to be included, he longed to be a part of something. Instead, his distrust of others only widened the gap between him and a normal life.

He could feel the pain welling up inside. He clamped down hard with an iron might. Not this time. Not today. No emotion. He was going to be keeping the walls high today.

He focused on the report that was in front of him. He had been staring at it for 30 minutes, but can't remember a single thing on the paper. It didn't matter, he would just read it again, or throw it away. He really didn't care anymore.

He was so unhappy. This was not the way he had envisioned his life, this was not his plan. He had followed the path that was sold to him. The sure course to happiness and a good life. He found he had neither. He wondered if he had been lied to, or if he simply had failed at this task?

Everyone was at their desks, beginning work, starting the day. His thoughts wondered. He wondered what they would do, would they even notice him? No one had greeted him, no one cared. He thought about going up to the roof of the building and doing a swan dive for the CEO's car. Would they care then?

But instead of moving, he simply sat at his desk and stared at the report. No one cared. And that is what kept him in his desk. It simply wouldn't matter to anyone.

Driftwood

He always came to this place when he missed her the most. At those times when going on without her simply wasn't an option. Those times when it was the darkest. The few times he hadn't gone, they weren't good times. The last time, when he found himself staring down the barrel of his pistol, was simply too much. He had set the gun down and just got in his car and drove.

That was how he ended up here. In the world's graveyard. He ached so much, missing a love lost, a life never-known. The regret had filled his days with melancholy and depression. His world had become dark and dreary. He longed for the release of the next life. A chance to start over, to heal. 

The beach, where he sat, reminded him of himself. Memories, happiness, love, family, friends - they were all pieces of driftwood in his mind. They always washed ashore. But sitting here, on this beach, it seemed as if he could finally let these memories go. If only for a short time.

He had been here many times before he broke down, before the turmoil inside finally broke free. On that day, the rain had fallen, cold and stinging with spray from the ocean. He couldn't help himself and had wept until there was nothing left. 


After that, he just kept coming back to the same place every time the world just got to be too much. And that got to be happening more and more as the years went by. He looked down at his wrinkled, callused hands. He had been coming here a long time. He never stopped wondering if she missed him. He never stopped thinking about her.


Even here, she crept into his thoughts. Once that wouldn't have been the case. He found peace in this graveyard. But his heart was so heavy with the loss, he simply couldn't keep her out anymore. He never could. That was why he ended up here, alone, miserable. 

He couldn't have the life with her he desired, and so he ran. He ran as far and as fast as he could. He reached the end of his world, and decided to hide there. It broke his soul to leave her that way, but it was the only way he knew. It was the only way he knew. 

He knew that he didn't have much left in this world. He had left the desire to end his life long ago, but now in his old age, he once again prayed for the journey to be over. He was tired of living this life, he was tired of loving, but being alone. He was ready to lay down. 

He bowed his head, and closed his eyes. He didn't see as well as he used to anyways. He listened to the waves crash onto the beach. It wasn't turbulent, but the steady ebb and flow of life. He felt his breathing slow to match the lap of the waves. He felt in tune with nature. He wondered if she thought about him. 


He had no idea how long the tears had flown, decades now. Leaving had been the only thing he could, but it had been his death sentence. He couldn't ever forget her, and had spent his life in a shadow world. Existing without existing.

He felt himself drifting off to sleep. It was dangerous he knew, the tide was coming in, and it was freezing cold. At his age, he knew that he wouldn't survive, yet he couldn't seem to stop it. "This is it," he realized. This was the moment of his death. 


But he didn't see his life flashing before his eyes, he saw no shining, guiding light. He heard no angelic voices nor did he smell brimstone or feel heat. Instead he saw the same thing he always did. He saw her smiling face, and the glow in her golden eyes, that special look she had just for him. 


It was time to go home.