Jazzing Life Away (part 5)

Arthur cinched the saddlebags of his motorcycle closed. He wanted to make sure everything was nice and tight, he was pretty sure that he was going to have to do some crazy driving. New Orleans was a great place to live. And horrible to try and escape from. There were only so many exits from the city. Paved exits. It was easy for a large crew to watch the highways coming into a city. Arthur had done it many times. So any of those routes would be out.
Arthur smiled. It was just as well, he wasn't leaving the city, just relocating. The wasted man-power would make it that much easier for him to avoid notice on surface streets within the city. Arthur checked his security cameras. The brown car was still parked where it had been. Arthur hadn't been inside that long, but one never knew in this business. He liked to be prepared for every situation.
Checking one last time that he had everything, Arthur went over his checklist. Satisfied that he had what he needed, Arthur checked one more time on his security settings. That accomplished, Arthur climbed on his bike, and started it up. The deep rumble coming up between his legs got Arthur's blooding flowing. It was time. He pressed the button on the wall beside him to open his garage door, there was no remote for this, only direct access inside.
Revving up his engine, Arthur rumbled out, the door closing as soon as he passed the last sensor. Rolling around the building, Arthur kept it slowed as he drove right past the brown car, getting a good look at the two men sitting inside. The look of surprise on their faces was priceless as they realized who he was, and the fact that he was going to leave them. As that look of recognition hit them, Arthur pulled back on the throttle and roared down the street. Looking in his mirrors, he could see the car pulling out rapidly behind him. The chase was on. Arthur increased his speed, blowing through a stop sign. It was time for the wild goose chase.
Arthur loved driving his motorcycle. He also liked driving fast. And outsmarting an opponent. Put all three of those together and Arthur was as happy as could be. He roared down streets, making sudden turns and quick acceleration, all the while making sure he didn't outpace the car. Arthur wanted the tail to follow him. Because soon enough, he would turn things around and follow them.
Arthur weaved his way from his office in Mid-City towards Lakeview and City Park. Turning onto Carrolton Ave right before he got to Orleans, Arthur continued north towards City Park. Soon enough, the brown car appeared behind him. "Good," he thought. Ahead, on the side of the road, he could see the white caprice of his team. They were in place. Now to make things interesting. Arthur accelerated rapidly, forcing the brown car to keep pace, he wanted to lose the car now. Assured that the car wasn't going to lose him easily, Arthur gunned the bike to a break neck speed and made a quick turn into city park. The car struggled to keep up with his pace. Arthur roared through the quiet streets of the park, quickly outpacing the car, it was fading faster and faster. Reaching a slight curve in the road, Arthur killed his lights and made a quick veer onto an old golf trail. The moonless night allowed for plenty of shadowy cover underneath the oak and cypress trees. As he took the trail, Arthur flipped a custom switch he had had installed, effectively killing the reverberation of the muffler. His motorcycle made no more noise than a bicycle. Arthur coasted to a stop fifty feet from the road and crouched down.
The car came flying through the curve, desperately trying to catch up. They never even saw him. After they had passed back by, Arthur set about camoflauging his bike and himself. He knew they would be back, tracing their trail looking for just such a subterfuge as he had pulled. But since Arthur didn't know if they had called for back-up or not, he felt it was best to hide and let his team tail them back. Arthur knew they were already on the case and he had absolute confidence in their work. Soon, he would know what was going on. And who was out to get him and why. Maybe it would all start to make sense. Soon.

Whispers

"Lee"
He turned. It was her voice again, calling from the ethos. He paused, halting the shuffle of his feet. He peered around, but found no indication of life outside every day nature.
He waited. Just like he had been since the first time her voice had come to him. He figured that a voice speaking from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, probably had something important to say.
A length of time passed, but nothing else was uttered. The pattern continued. He heard her voice quite often now. Always he listened for something further, but to no avail.
Her voice, that simple utterance of his name, brought back happy memories, followed by dark. He had wandered since she left. Nothing had meaning, nothing had a point.
"Lee"
The voice seemed closer now. He loved her so, and soon he would home. But first, he had to find her. He had searched for so long, only to have missed her. Nothing was ever easy. He scanned everywhere nearby, knowing that she was there. But his search remained fruitless. The light was fading, he needed to be on his way.
Her voice always brought the same memories. The happy times together, the fun, the laughter, those wonderful nights with her in his arms, the sex. But it inevitably led to the dark memories. The fights, the hurtful words, crying, doors slamming, and then that one night when she just left. He had been traveling ever since.
"Lee"
He stopped again, looking around. He knew she was somewhere here. She had to be, how else could her voice come so clear. He peered into every nook and cranny. He was sure she was somewhere nearby.
The memories came as they always did. Good memories, bad memories. Happy times, bad times. And then there was that night she left. He had been lost ever since.
"Lee"
The bright light in his eyes hurt. He struggled away from it, trying to find relief in the dark coolness. But the voice wouldn't leave him alone. Over and over, she called his name. "Lee" He was losing control. He was weeping openly now. He couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't take the torture of knowing that he failed her. Knowing that he couldn't be what she wanted. He yearned for the release that he felt death would bring.
The light begin to fade, the cool darkness returning.
"Lee." she called again, this time, he could make out her form. She was just over the rise, waiting in the shadows in the woods. She was beckoning him onward, he knew that if he could only reach her, he would find that peace he sought.
"Lee, Mr. Lee. If you can hear us, please don't fight. You are bleeding severely, we need to stop the bleeding, Mr. Lee. We are going to get you to the hospital, Mr. Lee. Just stay with me, Mr. Lee." the voice was getting fainter as he got closer to her. Just a few more steps and he would be free.
"Shit, we're losing him. Mr. Lee stay with me. Mr. Lee..... He's going, give me the paddles."
He reached out and took her hand. The world exploded into light. He had found his happiness.
"Time of death, 10:40 a.m......"

Solemn

She had been in his life as long as he could remember. She had lived next door since she was born. He couldn't remember this as he was in diapers, but his mother always said he looked thunderstruck from the moment he had lain eyes on her.
Even as a child, he knew she was important to his life. He played with her every day. He endured the tea parties, and dress up, because it was what she wanted to do. Luckily for him, she liked exploring and sports as well.
He remembered standing up for her in the play ground when the mean girls picked on her. She was so mad at him that she ignored him for a month. He could still remember that month. That horrible feeling of not being around her.
As they grew older, they went to different schools. She went to an all-girls school, while he "enjoyed" the public school system. But every day after school, they would spend hours talking and laughing.
The last fight they had was what ended all of it. She was dating this really bad guy, but she couldn't see it. One night, he happened to be outside when the guy dropped her off. Being the jerk he was, the jerk started getting too fresh with her. He stayed out of it until he heard her cry out in pain. He didn't remember anything else until the police showed up. He had put the jerk in a coma, and was going to jail. The look of hurt and betrayal tore his heart out. In protecting her, he hurt her more.
The charges were dropped, the jerk awoke and refused to press them, he was never sure why. But it was off to military school for him. Two years he struggled there, achieving high marks and rank advancement. But he never forgot the pain he had caused. No good grade could make up for the hurt he caused.
Right before he graduated, his mother sent him a letter saying her family was moving, and they didn't want him to know where. Crushed, with no reason to go home, he joined the military. He went for special ops, the most dangerous missions. He felt no need to live.
Two tours he served, fighting in the heaviest of battles, earning medal upon medal. He knew that this was his destiny, and then his father passed away.
The funeral was small and quiet, the way his father wanted. He stood at the grave site, after everyone had left, to say his final goodbyes. He heard a throat clear and turned to find an older version, a more mature beautiful version, of her standing there.
She paid her respects, conveyed her condolences, all the while he stood there mute. She started talking about herself, apologizing for that night. She talked about missing him, soul-searching for a way to write a letter to him explaining her feelings for him. But she never could find the fight words. Then her parents, fearing that she was becoming obsessed, moved. She had no choice but to go.
He was utterly amazed. Here was this beautiful woman telling him that she had feelings for him and had missed him. He couldn't believe this was happening. He was dumbstruck.
As he opened his mouth to tell her all of these feelings he had inside, she dropped the bomb shell on him. She was getting married.
He went cold inside, shocked. In one brief moment, his wishes had been granted only to leave his dreams destroyed.

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Corridors

To call it a dimly lit hallway would have been a compliment. To have called it disgusting would have been an accolade. But here he was, looking down this hallway that seemed to stretch into infinity. How he got here, he couldn't really tell you. A few drinks, some alone time, then it all gets foggy. Now the fog was gone, leaving this dingy old hallway full of doors.

As bad as it was, he seemed to feel comfortable, right at home. This was him. In more ways than one. It seemed to fit his personality. Dark, and dirty. Home.

While the hallway stretched endlessly, it wasn't empty. There were doors after doors after doors. At first, he thought he had just woken up in a seedy hotel. But a quick glance around had dissuaded him of that notion. He looked again for any sign of where he was, or an "exit" sign. At this point, he decided he really wasn't going to be picky. There were only two ways to look, and neither direction had any flicker of a red light. No exit sign in sight.

He stood for a minute in the middle of the hallway, peering first one direction, and then the other. Either way could be the way to go. There were no markings, no door numbers, nothing. Just a repetitious monotony of doors in a dimly lit hall. Both directions were the same. Finally, he decided that it probably didn't matter which way he went, they both would eventually lead somewhere.

Picking a direction, he called it his "right", he started walking.

The problem with walking in a monotonous hallway is that there is really no way to measure how far one has walked. There are no landmarks to measure against, no way of telling the passage of time, everything looks the same. After a period of walking, he finally came upon a chair. It was so out of character with the monotony of the hallway as to leap to his attention. Approaching the chair, he decided to sit down, somewhat disheartened by his apparent lack of progress.

"What the hell kinda place is this?" he muttered. His day/evening wasn't going well. He had woken up from some sort of stupor to find himself in a hallway that went nowhere and never changed. He felt muddled, like his head was stuffed in cotton and someone was trying to teach him astrophysics. He shrugged off his jacket, and in doing so, thought he saw the flicker of movement. His head snapped up, there was someone else here.

Standing he dashed down the hall towards the movement. "Maybe they can tell me how to get out," came his feverish thought. He had had enough of this crazy fun-house and he wanted to leave. Reaching the extent of his ability to run, he found he still hadn't seen another person. But he did see a chair ahead.

As he approached the chair to catch his breath, he saw that there was something lying crumpled on the floor. Coming closer, he realized that it was his jacket, laying on the floor beside the chair. The chair that he had run from all that way behind him. The implications of the situation were starting to freak him out a bit. Whatever hell he was in, this was fucked up.

Stooping down to retrieve his jacket, he noticed a piece of paper on the ground, under the chair. Desperate for any sort of information, even nonsensical information. would be appreciated. Something, anything. Picking up the note so that he could read the scratchy handwriting, what he saw dropped his mouth and froze him. It wasn't more than a simple sentence, but it filled him with dread.

"to leave, you open every door and face your past injustices"

To leave, he had to atone for every wrong he had ever done.

"So, this is hell," he mummered..

Faded photograph

I fell asleep on the couch. I had a dream that you were snuggled up beside me. I woke to find you gone.
I sit on the porch, trying to make sense of things. Nothing makes sense, the outcome doesn't match the effort.

I know, now, that you weren't here. It was all a figment of my dreams. You didn't come, and won't ever come. It's just wishful thinking.

You left long ago, when I couldn't change. I knew then it was for the best. I had to drive you away, this was no life for a baby, our baby.

It tore my heart out, watching you leave, but it was for the best. I kept telling myself that. It was the only way I could ever hurt you. But it had to be done, it was for the best.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss you. Waking without you has become a common occurence. You haunt my dreams.

But not the you that you've become. The one that you would have been in a perfect world. The person who achieved all their potential and loved life. You look at me with those big eyes and I just melt.

The night is still, the fog rolling in off the river. A perfect night for snuggles. I see your shadow move through the fog. I sit up, hoping it's real, only to watch the fog roll some more, moving you away. A specter in the night.

I'm lost in the dream of yesterday. Holding your hand. Happy.

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