You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten. My heart holds a special place for you. You are the perfect person for me, but you already know that. Maybe one day we will meet again. Until that day, I will hold your love tight.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Mr fix it
Why must people seek me out for solutions to their problems?
What about my life screams that I have all the answers?
I struggle with money, love, life, etc just like the next person. how can I fix your life, when I'm still working on mine?
I shun human interaction for this reason. Let me be, leave me alone. That's where I want to be. Alone. Keep the walls high and everyone out. Everyone. You can't leave and expect back in.
locking my doors tight. walking away and never looking back
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Today was a new day, tomorrow will be the same
It's valentines day.
It's 10:40. The time of my death.
I couldn't help but think of you in the days past. I've come to realize the silence speaks louder than anything you've said. The fact you refuse to make any sort of contact tells me that such contact will never come.
C'est la vie. I knew it wouldn't last forever, but I never expected to be discarded. Life goes on.
I could be sad, and heartbroken. But it's just another day. It reinforces my decisions and confirms my expectations.
I hope you find what you seek.
Instead, I'm curled up on my couch enjoying every day of my life. It keeps moving on. I find happiness wherever I can, however I can.
no parting words of wisdom, just emptiness where you used to be.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Distortion
The days become weeks, become months, become years. A lifetime, and it still isn't enough time to love you.
I think of you constantly, missing the laughter, longing for the smile and the way you said my name in that way no one else could. It's dark now, the eternal darkness of the solitary soul.
The keys jingle, a distant memory, a sound that echoes across time, surpassing distance. Can you hear my soul scream? The noise threatens to consume, yet when I open my mouth to release it, no sound comes forth. Does it echo across time? Do you hear my heart beat?
Life continues, yet remains barren and colorless. Nothing is simple, nothing fulfills. I am a man dying in a desert with no water.
Sleep overtakes me, bringing with it dreams of the life I should have with you here in my arms.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Late night reflections
I feel blessed in so many ways.
While I'm not an old man nor young, I have accomplished much in my short span.
I've known the love of not one, but two beautiful women. I've known trials and tribulations of raising a child. I've made a fortune and lost it. I've run my own business and while that did fail, I looked failure in the eye and learned lessons from it.
I've started five different careers, and earned a degree with two certificates of proficiency in culinary arts.
I married my best friend and fell in love with another. I've known the darker side of life with the scars to show.
I've been to mountain tops, and sea-shores, all in the same day.
I've traveled to six different countries, with three trips to canada. I've been to niagara falls twice. I've traveled through 25 states.
I've done quite a bit in 32 years on this earth. Who knows what the next 28 will bring?
But when it's all said and done I will be the most interesting man in the world.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Eternal darkness
He opened the door going outside. The light spilled out as far as it could stretch, like fog rolling across the ground. The air was cold, enough to have a bite as you inhaled, chilling one to the core with that first breath.
He stepped outside, letting the door close behind him. With a sharp bang, the door closed. The darkness was absolute. The pitch black that only the deep night could bring. The stars glowed bright above, with the moon absent.
"It must be a new moon", he thought.
His footsteps crunched loud in the still of the night as he walked away from the building. The music was overwhelming, but out here the silence prevailed. He listened to his footsteps as he wandered away from the noise. Crunch, crunch, crunch. The sound was unmistakable. Ominous, yet satisfying. He needed to breathe.
Without warning, his footsteps lost their sound. He had wandered off into the grass. Now, every step came silently. He stopped after a few feet, looking around. "Here is good," he thought, unable to see anything that was around. He was enveloped in the darkness, like a cloak covering his body. He pulled his joint from his pocket and struck his lighter. The flame momentarily lit the surrounding area, enough to see that he was surrounded by grass, but not enough to make out more than a few steps.
As he pulled on the joint, inhaling the smoke, he thought about why he was out here, alone. The party was raging back inside, he should have been having a blast, living it up. He should have been laughing with his friends and enjoying the music. He should have been shooting shots and hitting on women. Should have been....
The sweet smell of pot formed a cloud around him. He basked in the smell.
The door opened, spilling light into the surrounding dark. It closed ominously with a loud thud. A few seconds passed, and then a female's voice called out, "Hank, I know you are out there. Hell, I can smell you."
"Damn," he thought, "I just had to smoke some pot."
The footsteps came through the silence, the gravel crunching, heralding her approach. Hank pulled deep on his doobie. A little too deep, because he started coughing and hacking, giving himself away. The footsteps faded into a rustle of someone walking through the grass. The footsteps stopped next to him.
"Lemme hit that." she said.
Hank passed her the joint, still coughing. She hit it slowly, saying nothing. After a few puffs, she handed it back. With a question. "Why are you out here?"
Hank pulled on the joint, thinking. How to say what he needed to say, Hank wasn't sure.
Exhaling, he decided on the truth. "I can't stop thinking about her. She stole my heart, and I can't stop loving her. It's never going to end is it?"
Hank handed her the joint. It was getting to the end. She hit it hard, thinking. "No," she exhaled, "It's not. So what are you going to do about it?"
Hank was silent for a moment, searching for the answer.
"I have no idea." came his response. "I have no idea."
He stepped outside, letting the door close behind him. With a sharp bang, the door closed. The darkness was absolute. The pitch black that only the deep night could bring. The stars glowed bright above, with the moon absent.
"It must be a new moon", he thought.
His footsteps crunched loud in the still of the night as he walked away from the building. The music was overwhelming, but out here the silence prevailed. He listened to his footsteps as he wandered away from the noise. Crunch, crunch, crunch. The sound was unmistakable. Ominous, yet satisfying. He needed to breathe.
Without warning, his footsteps lost their sound. He had wandered off into the grass. Now, every step came silently. He stopped after a few feet, looking around. "Here is good," he thought, unable to see anything that was around. He was enveloped in the darkness, like a cloak covering his body. He pulled his joint from his pocket and struck his lighter. The flame momentarily lit the surrounding area, enough to see that he was surrounded by grass, but not enough to make out more than a few steps.
As he pulled on the joint, inhaling the smoke, he thought about why he was out here, alone. The party was raging back inside, he should have been having a blast, living it up. He should have been laughing with his friends and enjoying the music. He should have been shooting shots and hitting on women. Should have been....
The sweet smell of pot formed a cloud around him. He basked in the smell.
The door opened, spilling light into the surrounding dark. It closed ominously with a loud thud. A few seconds passed, and then a female's voice called out, "Hank, I know you are out there. Hell, I can smell you."
"Damn," he thought, "I just had to smoke some pot."
The footsteps came through the silence, the gravel crunching, heralding her approach. Hank pulled deep on his doobie. A little too deep, because he started coughing and hacking, giving himself away. The footsteps faded into a rustle of someone walking through the grass. The footsteps stopped next to him.
"Lemme hit that." she said.
Hank passed her the joint, still coughing. She hit it slowly, saying nothing. After a few puffs, she handed it back. With a question. "Why are you out here?"
Hank pulled on the joint, thinking. How to say what he needed to say, Hank wasn't sure.
Exhaling, he decided on the truth. "I can't stop thinking about her. She stole my heart, and I can't stop loving her. It's never going to end is it?"
Hank handed her the joint. It was getting to the end. She hit it hard, thinking. "No," she exhaled, "It's not. So what are you going to do about it?"
Hank was silent for a moment, searching for the answer.
"I have no idea." came his response. "I have no idea."
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