A day in the life of Brian

Day 45673
Every day is the same. Wake. Walk dog.Shower.  Eat breakfast. Smoke. Work. Get off. Walk dog. Eat food. Smoke. Sleep.
Repeat.
I'm a robot.

Laugh

Watch "Pizza gets revenge" on YouTube
If this doesn't make you laugh, you're dead.

Fear

The world around me is filled with violence.
First the violence of the other night, then my neighbors had a throw down fight before leaving to the west coast for two weeks. Then tonight i come home to an empty cop car beside my house. (To keep people from running the stop sign, I'm assuming) and other neighbors having a screaming match in the front yard.
And people wonder why I'm a hermit. Who wants to be subjected to that sort of drama. Not I.
And now for sleep. The sleep of the innocent.

Frustration

Standing in line at Wal-Mart. This is where the revolution will begin. Someone will get fed up with the mindlessness of all this and go ape-shit.
I've spent more time in line than i did shopping. Wtf?
I say we start letting the stupid people kill themselves off and we might be able to save our race.
Just a little irritated by all this. I would just leave except i need what I came for.
I got a new phone, a Samsung note ii. I fucking love it. It's huge. So much better.
I also started working seven days a week as I'm living alone again. And i have a puppy so I'm never home. I needed a computer i could take with me.
I've written all of this after checking fb, and Instagram. Seven lanes open at five pm. Stupidity.

Familiar

If I wanted something new, i would troll the college bars looking for daddy issues.
It's the same old song and dance. I never was good at dancing.
The wind is blowing so hard as to cut you in half. I want my summer weather here already.
What is familiar is comfortable. But to become comfortable is to become complacent. To become complacent is to give up and accept what's familiar.....
I was never good at following directions. Now i am falling asleep writing these coded messages for you to read. If you're smilin, well that's what i want to see.

Half truths and myths

No one wants to be alone.
Ask a mother who has been home all day alone with a child.
Every situation brings a different set of challenges. While on the outside i appear calm inside I'm adrift and lost. There is nothing anyone can do to help me find my way.
And that's what alone truly means. Being completely self sufficient. I live alone. No one pays any of my bills. No one takes care of me, and I'm fairly certain that outside of my family and a few close friends, no one really cares what happens to me. But that's life. There is no sense in crying about it. You accept it and move on. You find ways to be happy alone. You find ways to feel fulfilled. You get a dog for companionship. I really don't know why i got the dog. But he's mine and there is no going back.

Google reader is soon going to be shut down. It'll be the last time I have any contact with you. And life moves on.

As real as it gets

The shrill scream broke through the
Night air. Even the dog stopped.
The screaming stopped. It was followed by a sharp report. Once, twice, three times. Then silence. A door slams, and a car peals out.
I might have just witnessed a murder.
I walk the dog home and lock the door. I didn't witness shit.
I've become numb, i could care less about others. Humanity is trying to flush itself down the toilet. I say let it, and sit on the seat top so it can't claw it's way back out.
Love is nuts. You can't control it, you can't predict it. You can't even get rid of it. A hundred times I've said the same thing. Patiently waiting, living life. One day you'll find your courage. The courage to be happy.
Human beings weren't meant to sit inside all day. I read every single word. Like heroin for a junkie.
You aren't just in my bloodstream, you are the heart. You can't destroy something freely given.
The humidity is so thick you can reach out and touch it. Literally. It started misting to relieve some of the weight of the air. My air is already running. It's so warm.
This would be so much easier in text. But it always leads to the same. I cannot be the first. My conditions haven't changed. And so it's a Mexican standoff. But be warned, you can't deny the desire forever, it will consume you.
No smiles. No happy eyes.

The best artists, writers, directors, actors are all dark and suffering. They have a love lost that haunts them and motivates their works. It's the way it has to be. I could never be creative loved.