Adrift

Adrift in a sea of loneliness. It's of my own making. I fault no one.
I can't even love my puppy, I know in the back of my mind he will leave me. Everyone does. The cold hard truth is we all die alone.
easier to get used to being alone than rely on someone who is never there.
I tried to say I rode off into the sunset, but all I see is darkness. But then there never was light in my soul.

Memories fade

You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten. My heart holds a special place for you. You are the perfect person for me, but you already know that. Maybe one day we will meet again. Until that day, I will hold your love tight.

Mr fix it

Why must people seek me out for solutions to their problems?
What about my life screams that I have all the answers?
I struggle with money, love, life, etc just like the next person. how can I fix your life, when I'm still working on mine?
I shun human interaction for this reason. Let me be, leave me alone. That's where I want to be. Alone. Keep the walls high and everyone out. Everyone. You can't leave and expect back in.
locking my doors tight. walking away and never looking back

Oh yeah

And then I remembered none of this matters in the end, for we all die alone.

Today was a new day, tomorrow will be the same

It's valentines day.
It's 10:40. The time of my death.
I couldn't help but think of you in the days past. I've come to realize the silence speaks louder than anything you've said. The fact you refuse to make any sort of contact tells me that such contact will never come.
C'est la vie. I knew it wouldn't last forever, but I never expected to be discarded. Life goes on.
I could be sad, and heartbroken. But it's just another day. It reinforces my decisions and confirms my expectations.
I hope you find what you seek.
Instead, I'm curled up on my couch enjoying every day of my life. It keeps moving on. I find happiness wherever I can, however I can.
no parting words of wisdom, just emptiness where you used to be.

Distortion

The days become weeks, become months, become years. A lifetime, and it still isn't enough time to love you.
I think of you constantly, missing the laughter, longing for the smile and the way you said my name in that way no one else could. It's dark now, the eternal darkness of the solitary soul.
The keys jingle, a distant memory, a sound that echoes across time, surpassing distance. Can you hear my soul scream? The noise threatens to consume, yet when I open my mouth to release it, no sound comes forth. Does it echo across time? Do you hear my heart beat?
Life continues, yet remains barren and colorless. Nothing is simple, nothing fulfills. I am a man dying in a desert with no water.
Sleep overtakes me, bringing with it dreams of the life I should have with you here in my arms.

Late night reflections

I feel blessed in so many ways.
While I'm not an old man nor young, I have accomplished much in my short span.
I've known the love of not one, but two beautiful women. I've known trials and tribulations of raising a child. I've made a fortune and lost it. I've run my own business and while that did fail, I looked failure in the eye and learned lessons from it.
I've started five different careers, and earned a degree with two certificates of proficiency in culinary arts.
I married my best friend and fell in love with another. I've known the darker side of life with the scars to show.
I've been to mountain tops, and sea-shores, all in the same day.
I've traveled to six different countries, with three trips to canada. I've been to niagara falls twice. I've traveled through 25 states.
I've done quite a bit in 32 years on this earth. Who knows what the next 28 will bring?
But when it's all said and done I will be the most interesting man in the world.