Inner secrets

I wasn't sure how I knew, but I did. I knew as soon as I saw her. You can't fake that pain. How long had she been crying? I hadn't really been paying attention, but as soon as I saw her face, I knew she was.
This wasn't a little tear in the eye like sadness, no, this was deep soul crushing anguish. The kind that came from the depths of your being, welling up like a volcano until it explodes. Did she cry out when it happened? Something uncontrolled and unintelligible, a guttural sound. Did the tears burst forth? My eyes welled in response to her anguish, empathic thoughts reaching out wanting to share her pain. No one should have to go through that alone, that pain, that hurt. I wanted to engulf her in my arms and pull her up close to me, hold her tight as she sobbed it out.
I wondered what would cause a person to feel such great wrenching anguish. The death of a loved one? That seemed a good cause, I struggled to think of others. A divorce, perhaps, or a breakup. Those would certainly cause that sort of emotion. "What else?", I wondered. Then I thought about how clinical my mind was, a moment ago I was empathizing with her and showing emotion, now I was examining her mind and trying to understand grief. Did I even feel anything anymore? Was I even human?
I looked at her again, she was clearly struggling to calm herself. You could the visible strain in her jaw, the quiver of muscles. Her hand rested to the side of her mouth, fingers laid over the lips to keep them still. I wanted to hug her, comfort her. But I sat still. I let her turn and leave, I said nothing.
What kind of person had I become? So scared of society and their rules that I became a fringe of society, an untouchable. An undesirable person. Pariah. A ghost. My life secret and discreet, I stepped back and disappeared. Those who would miss me have long been forgotten.
Then I understood. Why she cried like that. Alone. She was alone and couldn't take it anymore. Bereft of human contact, she existed in a bubble, her own world. She was the exact same as me. Alone. I felt the volcano inside. Fuel for me to be alone. I didn't belong in this world anymore. With the tears welling in my eyes, I stepped into the fog to disappear and to dwell alone.