I fell asleep on the couch. I had a dream that you were snuggled up beside me. I woke to find you gone.
I sit on the porch, trying to make sense of things. Nothing makes sense, the outcome doesn't match the effort.
I know, now, that you weren't here. It was all a figment of my dreams. You didn't come, and won't ever come. It's just wishful thinking.
You left long ago, when I couldn't change. I knew then it was for the best. I had to drive you away, this was no life for a baby, our baby.
It tore my heart out, watching you leave, but it was for the best. I kept telling myself that. It was the only way I could ever hurt you. But it had to be done, it was for the best.
Not a day goes by that I don't miss you. Waking without you has become a common occurence. You haunt my dreams.
But not the you that you've become. The one that you would have been in a perfect world. The person who achieved all their potential and loved life. You look at me with those big eyes and I just melt.
The night is still, the fog rolling in off the river. A perfect night for snuggles. I see your shadow move through the fog. I sit up, hoping it's real, only to watch the fog roll some more, moving you away. A specter in the night.
I'm lost in the dream of yesterday. Holding your hand. Happy.
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