Only when you let go, do you find control

The wind blew in a summer storm. But he paid it no mind. He paid attention to nothing except the phone. He would stare for hours waiting for it to ring. He knew that one day she would call, she would text. It is what kept him going, the knowledge that one day she would call. 

He paid no attention to the number of days that had passed. They mattered not. The only thing that mattered in his world was her. His world had become a world of waiting. He went through his days a zombie, a robot just going through the motions. Get up, shower, go to work, get off, come home, eat, and then find things to occupy his time. Things to keep his mind off her. But nothing ever worked. Nothing filled the void that she had left in his world. 


"You complete me." Words once said on a movie somewhere that he had watched at some point. Memories were hazy, if they didn't include her. Time and place no longer mattered. Just her. He never understood those words until he had met her. Everything he had thought he once understood had gained new meaning in her presence. He learned what contentment was, what it was like to be completely and utterly at ease with someone. To trust and love completely. Being with her had opened new worlds for him. It had given him a new life, and made him wish for a longer one, just so he could spend it with her. 


She was his angel, his goddess. He loved her so much. The little things she did. The little girl voice when she wanted something, the biting of her lip, the look in her eye when she said his name. Those memories were burned into his soul. She was as much a part of him as his heart. She beat inside him, and flowed through his bloodstream. They had become one. Joined truly and forever.


But then she had left. So suddenly. A brief good-bye and then gone. For days afterwards, he wandered in a daze, lost to everyone. Only she could return him to himself. But she never came. And slowly he came back. But he was a ghost of his former self, a wraith flitting between this world and the next. When she left, she had taken his heart and locked it away. Only she had the key to free his love again. 


And so he waited. Checking the phone every few minutes, wearing down the battery, looking for some sign of her, some word. He longed for the sound of her voice. He heard it calling in his dreams, he felt her pulling his heart hard, begging him to save. But how could he save her if he didn't know where she was! His dreams haunted him, slumber brought back all the memories, and the loss. 


His phone vibrated. "Was it her?" He desperately checked his phone. No, just another useless email. So much he wanted to say to her. To tell her that he still loved her. That he was waiting with open arms and a smile on his mouth. That he was always going to be waiting. How could any other compare to her?


She knew everything about him. All of his darkest secrets, his deepest desires. She knew what drove him, and how to please him. She knew how to excite him, and how to calm him down. She was strong when he needed her, even hundreds of miles away, standing beside him at one of the hard times in his life. She was weak and needed her "Daddy", and only he could be that for her. She completed him on levels he never knew existed until they spoke about it. He always said she was perfect for him. 


Still he waited. For now, and forever. 

I will always wait chere.