Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Counsel of Voices
Her words reverberated inside his skull. They were all stunned. Silenced in a way that no one had ever expected. He never expected her to turn on him in such a fashion. None of the voices had anything to say. The brief moment stretched further. She obviously was awaiting his answer. He had no idea what to say, he sat there like a deer in headlights, just waiting for the killing blow to follow.
John awoke in the silence with a fury. Before he knew what was going on, he had already left was halfway down the street. John, the fearful one, was in control, going who knew where. All the time muttering, "can't let them get close enough to hurt me..." over and over. John was always the one hurt, he took all the hurt, all the pain, and kept control of it. John was usually complacent to sit in the corner and absorb all the suffering. But occasionally, he seized control in a "flight-or-fight" mentality. And John was always ready to flee.
George raged in the background, he wanted to fight back, to strike back at her. To hurt her more than she hurt him. It was his self-preservation instinct honed to be battle-ready. He wanted to kill everyone and everything, before they could hurt him. George was a bit of a revenge-seeker.
Frederick tried to rationalize everything, to make sense of it all. He wanted reason and logic to rule. Especially considering the raw state of John's emotional outbursts. It left them all hurting and weak. Frederick knew that if he could find a way to offset the power of John's emotions, it would be the end of them all.
He grasped control from John and leaned against the wall. He simply couldn't allow anyone close, they always hurt him in the end. John cheered and George agreed. They finally had reached a unanimous agreement. Something they could all agree on.
Life wasn't so bad alone.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Droplets of Life
Turning the heat down slightly, he stepped fully into the cauldron of boiling water. There was nothing like the feel of hot water streaming down your naked body. He allowed himself to be enveloped by it, truly relaxing for the first time in days.
The water coursed through his hair, loosening the strands, freeing the water to stream down his face, dripping from his chin. The water droplets fell into the misty abyss below. He felt like he was teetering on the edge of a high cliff, with nothing below. The water poured down upon him.
This wasn't the way he had wanted things to go. This wasn't the life he had envisioned. Everything was spinning out of control. A top ready to topple. He had no idea what came next, how he was to survive. Every step was blind.
The water still flowed. He could feel his concerns lessened, being eked away by the running water. So strange such a simple thing like a shower could make such a difference. He knew that things would be waiting for him once he stepped out. But for now this moment, he was safe.
The water felt so good, he closed his eyes, transporting himself to a world where everything was perfect. No worries, no hurt, no stress. With a sigh, he slumped for the floor. His eyes opened, blurrily taking in everything. He saw no blood, but couldn't breathe. It was the end. His body had given out, it could take no more.
And his last thoughts were, "At least I don't have to worry anymore."
Friday, February 3, 2012
The Mystic Order of the Sunshine Princesses
"Blah". That was how she felt. The sights of the city in ruins made her weep silent tears. She was unaware of them streaming down her face. Her nose turned a little pink as it ran.
It was all just a little much. The places she had grown up in, the world she was knew was virtually gone. The people, the culture, vanished in an instant of Mother Nature’s destruction. It was almost unfathomable how they would carry on. It was an almost insurmountable task that lay before her people. The task of rebuilding.
The streets rolled by, one after another. Houses in some blocks were entirely gone, while in others seemingly untouched. Her mind had trouble understanding everything she saw. As they moved into more inhabitable areas, she started to see signs of life. People were returning to their homes, accessing the damage and starting to make repairs. Neighbors were helping others. She started to see signs of the spirit that ruled this great city.
The truck slowed to a stop outside of an eatery that was open. The line was out the door and almost to the corner. People were desperate for food, but content to wait their turn. It was the only way that people could survive. If you broke the line, disrupted the order of things, then chaos ruled, these were a proud people that had come together as a community to support each other. Violence would not be tolerated.
She lifted her head from the cool glass window of the truck. It was expected of her to go inside, talk to people. She was so disheartened by the sights she had seen, she just wanted to mull it all over in her mind. She didn’t want to speak to people. Everyone was saying the same things, telling tales of woes and despair followed by vows to rebuild and be ready for the next time. It was saddening and inspiring at the same time. But it was also a huge emotional drain; one that she simply couldn’t deal with right now.
Stepping from the truck, she told her friend, the driver that she wanted to take some air, and walk just a little. Nodding his understanding, he let her go about her ways. He needed to speak with people inside, planning meetings were underway. No one was going to bother her here. She would be safe.
Idly walking down the street, she turned at the cross street and just walked for a while. This neighborhood hadn’t been untouched, yet there didn’t seem to be a lot of disaster here. She saw people in their yards, cleaning up. She also saw the houses where no one was cleaning, where no one had come back to; where people might not ever come back to.
Making a short loop, she soon found herself coming back to the eatery. So much blight, it was hard to imagine ever being able to rebuild this desolation. She found herself shaking her head, wondering what she could do to help. You could see the high water marks on nearly every house she passed. It had flooded deep here. She thought of all the toxins and bacteria that now infested the soil. She could already see signs of plants dying from the toxicity. Such travesty, that.
She wiped the tears from her eyes as she came near the establishment. Now was not the time for tears. Now was the time for kind words and helpful attitudes. People wanted to see concern on her face, not misery. They wanted to see a smile, even if it was a sad smile; they still wanted to see that smile. It gave them hope.
Greeting people with kind words, she entered the establishment. Soon she found her way to her friend, as he stood talking with the owner. The place was utter chaos. The tables for eating were converted into a meeting room, where aid was dispensed. The walls were covered in maps depicting variety of things, from clean, running water to electricity, to health concerns to areas still being searched for remains. Phones rang, and there was a din of people talking rapidly, taking calls and placing them. It was a beehive of activity.
But this was only the dining area. The kitchen was in full service doing to-go’s only. The people were paying however they could. If they had money, they paid money. If they had materials such as tools (paint brushes, hammers, saws, etc) that they could part with, that was taken too. She even saw birdseed in a corner. Passing by the corner, she paused, “That is a lot of sunflower seeds,” she thought.
Standing there looking at the hundreds of pounds of sunflower seeds, she found herself thinking of the properties of sunflower seeds. The memory came of a classroom, where she was studying botany. The instructor was pontificating the benefits of the sunflower, telling the history and the properties. She remembered him saying then that the sunflower would draw toxins out of the soil.
With almost a staggering effect, it hit her. She knew what she could do to make the city better. She knew how she could help. With a purpose, she turned towards her friend, a step in her stride now. She approached, and greeted the owner. After a few minutes of listening to how things were going, she steered the conversation to the method of payment for the food.
“Yes,” the business owner said, “I am helping people however I can. I have to pay for the food, so I can’t just give it away, but I will take what people have. They bring money, or tools they don’t need – but we do, they bring food in the freezer that they can’t cook, and will go bad. We take whatever form of payment they offer. As long as we can reuse it.”
She smiled at the owner, and commended him on the job he was doing. There were just not enough people doing things like this. Then she asked about the birdseed in the corner. He laughed, and told her how this one guy just brought it by. He had it left over, no longer having a pet bird, and didn’t want it anymore. The guy thought it would come to good use.
Her friend was watching her intently; he knew that something was going on with her. She rarely showed this much interest in something unless it was important. She turned to the birdseed while the owner was speaking, and then turned back and looked him the eye. Smiling sweetly, she offered to take the seed off his hand. She said she knew where it could be used to great benefits. The owner acquiesced graciously, glad for it to be gone from his store.
Later, after the seed was loaded, and their bellies filled, they drove off. Her friend turned and looked at her. “What is it you plan to do with the seed?” he asked. She smiled, and told him to take the next right. A few minutes later, they pulled up before an empty lot. One of the most devastated areas of this neighborhood. Getting out, she walked back to the back of the truck and pulled out the seeds. With a quick twist she opened the bag and started tossing the seeds out into the vacant lot. He watched her for a moment, and then climbed out to help her.
She stopped him from tossing more seeds. “No.” she said softly, “we must spread this sunshine around the city. Soon, the people that left will be allowed to return. They must not come back to complete desolation. We must spread the seeds so that they come back to fields of gold.” He nodded. She always made sense in these matters.
The next few days were a blur. She enlisted the help of a few of her friends and they dubbed themselves “The Sunshine Princesses”. Every time it seemed that the Princesses were going to run out of seeds, more seeds always seem to make themselves available. They drove all over the city spreading their seeds.
Weeks later, seas of sunflowers started appearing. The officials were baffled by it. They attributed it people’s birdfeeders being strewn about during the storm. It was if there were oceans of gold flowers everywhere. She drove throughout the city. A smile beaming on her face; this was her doing. She had accomplished something no one would believe.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Creeping
Having drawn my attention so, I puzzled to figure out why this figure should pique my curiosity. I studied the man as I walked closer. His clothing did not seem out of the ordinary. While it was a beautiful spring day, the air still had enough a chill to warrant a long sleeve shirt on a cold-natured person. Myself, I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, enjoying the coolness on my walk.
The man wore no hat, his shirt was a normal button-down shirt, the kind worn by most college students. He sat by himself on a bench, with his schoolbag resting beside him; not unlike so many of his peers who were out enjoying the weather. His pants were khakis of some kind, keeping with his scholarly appearance. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary about him. So why did he warrant all of my attention? Why did my eyes keep going back to him, apprehensive?
His hair, while long, was trimmed and his beard manicured. His features were normal. He could have fit in anywhere. Maybe that was what it was. The fact that he was too normal, too contemporary made him seem out of place, it made him stick out. All the attempts to blend in producing the opposite result.
I watched his pen scratch out a shape as he sketched something in the lower part of his book. My attention completely focused upon him, I was burning with curiosity to see what he was writing. I wanted to delve into his notes, bury myself in his subconscious. I wanted to learn him from the inside out, know what made him tick, what motivated him.
As I drew closer, I found my path drifting closer to this unaware stranger. A path that would bring me close enough to reach out and take the book should I choose, or I could simply catch a glimpse of the page he was working on. As I walked, I debated my course of action. Should I sneak a peek? Or should I go for the whole enchilada and snatch the book?
Ten feet, seven feet, five feet. I was fast approaching the moment of no return. What was I going to do? And in the instant before I had to make a decision, the man looked up. He looked me directly in the eye, and time stood still. In that instance, I made a connection with him. It was as if I suddenly understood everything about him, knew what was going, and without thinking, I stopped.
Looking down at his drawing, I found myself asking him to see his drawing. I found myself admiring it, and words coming out of my mouth. I was no longer in control. Something greater than myself was in control. Finishing my monologue, unaware of what I had said to the man, I stared at the man in silence; I was unsure what would happen next. The man looked at me and smiled.
"Now you are finally understanding." he said.
And with that, he walked away, leaving me standing there holding his notebook. All the answers to my unspoken questions in my hand. I stared around in confusion, unsure what had just happened.
Looking down, I found myself holding a blank notebook. There was nothing inside, just blank pages.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Hungry eyes
The smell of fire filled the air, filling his nostrils, choking and inflaming his lungs. In a mighty effort for breathe, he started coughing violently. It shook his massive frame causing him to bend over and drop to one knee. "No," he thought. "NOW was not the time dior this." He knew he had to keep going, keep moving. To stop now was to quit, to die. The fire would get him, it would stop him. They would all die.
Looking up, he could see the layer of smoke on the ceiling. That is what had gotten him, it was thick now. No more running, it was time to crawl. Gasping shallow breaths of the hot smoky air, he took stock of the situation. The last thing he could afford to do was to panic, here, now. In this.
Four more doors, he just had to crawl four doors to his daughters room. She was young and wouldn't know how to get out. He had to save her. He was sweating through his shirt, the fire was getting hot.
Soon, he reached her door, now to get her out. He reached for the knob and hesitated before opening it. "Was it hot?" he wondered. His survival instinct kicking in, his subconscious taking control. Gently, taking precious seconds he knew he didn't have, he touched the handle. It didn't burn him. Sighing with relief, he should hear his daughter crying over the sound of the fire alarm. It's incessant beeping had deafened him.
With a hurried effort, he opened the door. Only to be greeted with a parent's nightmare. His daughter sat huddled in the corner, crying, with a wall of flame between him and her. The roof was burning and had fallen through. He would have to cross through the fire to get her, and then back out.
He gathered a deep breath and never hesitated. The fire burned for a moment and then he was through. He grabbed his daughter into his arms, and hugged her tight. Then grabbing her blankie from her bed, he wrapped it around her and rushed for the door. It hurt a little bit more, but then he was through.
Once he reached the hallway again, he crouched down to catch his breath. Gazing towards the outside door, he could see that things had gotten worse in his absence. The fire had spread. It was going to be a hot escape. He knew he was going to get burned badly doing this. But it was their only chance of escape. And if he waited any longer, they wouldn't have that.
Gathering his sobbing daughter, he lunged for the door. The fire burned so bad, but he never stopped. Finally, he hurled himself through the burning door, back first and out into the cold night. He hit the ground hard, his daughter coming free. Instinctively, he rolled around on the ground making sure HE wasn't on fire.
Once satisfied that he was no longer burning, he looked for daughter. She sat a few feet away, her blankie smoking, but unharmed. He heard his wife running up to them, screaming their daughter's name.
And then everything went black.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Only the Devil knows
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Death watches over us
The shade of the tree protected Boris from the sun's harsh rays. His tail flicked only slightly, it seemed that even the cow flies knew better than to bother the king. Boris looked out over his herd, surveying his subjects. As the bull, they all had to obey him. He led them where he wanted to go. Whether to the stream, or to the tree, they followed him. Maybe tomorrow he would go to the far corner of his kingdom. "Yes," he thought, "I want some of the sweet clovers that grow there." His herd would be in for a sweet treat tomorrow. He was such a good ruler.
Bending his head down to graze a little, he saw the shadows flick by. The bane of his existence. He tried to ignore them, maybe they would go away today. Although, he had his doubts. Boris knew that there was only a slight possibility of this happening, and yet he still hoped.
Sure enough, they didn't go anywhere. As Boris continued to munch on his cud, he heard them call out, "Oh, Kingie-Poo, How are you? Do you feel that old age creeping up on you?" Boris really wasn't old for a bull, but he wasn't young either. He was still fertile, managing 43 calves this season, with 23 bulls. Boris was proud of his prowess. Some of the cows were real cows, and it was all Boris could do to do his kingly duties and service them. But he didn't like it any. "Sigh, the duties of a king," he thought morosely.
But the taunting didn't end there, those vultures liked to draw blood, so to speak. Boris knew the taunting wasn't over, he was doing his best to ignore it. "Hey, Bull-King, don't eat so much, you will get fat and die from a heart attack. That will do us no good, we like a good heart!" Boris swallowed hard. "Damn," he muttered. Now he couldn't finish eating without more taunts about being fat.
Boris didn't think that he was fat, but he was real sensitive to criticism. Which is why those vultures taunted him. They knew it would piss him off eventually, and then they would roll in hysterics while he just got madder and stormed off. "And the problem with storming off," Boris thought, "was that the only place he could go in his kingdom where they wouldn't bother him was out to the arid land. The middle of his domain, where no trees grew and no water ran. The grass was always dry and brittle from the constant exposure to the sun and other elements. It was always so hot there, Boris' delicate skin just didn't do well with lots of sunlight. It got all dry and ragged. Which then became more fodder for those damn birds when he did retreat to the comfort of the shade. They would just taunt him endlessly.
Boris sat there, staring at the ground, listening to their jeers. The vultures were going on and on about how if Boris didn't eat, then he would waste away to nothing and die, and kind of meal that would be for them. Boris sometimes wished he was deaf, so he could just shut them out. You couldn't win with those two. If you did one thing you were wrong, but if you did the opposite, you were still wrong.
Boris wondered how he was going to get rid of those vultures. He lowered his head and ripped up a mouthful of grass. He pondered this issue as he chewed. "Oh," he whined inside, "if only I could get rid of those two, then life would be so much better."
To be continued....