The legend of Durt McGurten chap 2

The Legend of Durt McGurten
as told by B.Z. Whiddum

Chapter 2

Fred set down his beer. It was cool, not ice cold anymore. He could tell it had been sitting there for a while by the rings of water it left on the table. The rings were slowly pooling together to make a puddle. Fred couldn't help but get lost in thought while drinking beer. He thought about all the lost friends. Those who had gone on to the other side of life, and those who had just drifted away.
It was a hot Saturday afternoon. Fred had been working all day, and now he wanted to just sit and have a beer. Like he used to do with UNC and Durty. As if on cue, the screen door screeched open and then slammed shut. Jellybean had come outside. But not without consequence, Fred could hear Jellybean's Granny yelling out of the house, "Don't be slamming my doors, boy! I'll tan your hide!"
Fred snorted to himself, she liked saying that, but not doing it. By now, the threat had worn off. Jellybean made his way over to his uncle Fred. "Whatcha doing uncle Fred?" The child was insatiably curious. Fred couldn't stop himself from messing with the boy.
"Sitting here trying to figure where to hide your dead body." Fred replied deadpan. The boy froze. He knew his uncle teased him, but he wasn't sure if that was a threat or joke. Fred chuckled and continued before Jellybean could run off in fear. "Because if you keep slamming that door, your granny is going to kill you." The boy breathed a sigh of relief and sat down across from his uncle at the picnic table.
Fred looked at the mischievous boy across from him. Jellybean looked more and more like his dad every day. The resemblance was incredible. "You look more and more like your daddy every day.", Fred remarked. Jellybean squirmed a little, he didn't always like the comparison.
"Will you tell me a story, uncle Fred?" Jellybean pleaded with his whole body, looking as innocent and wistful as possible. Taking a swallow of his rapidly warming beer, Fred looked at boy. Knowing full well what kind of story the boy wanted to hear, Fred decided to play along. "What kind of story do you want to hear?"
Jellybean was quiet for a moment, then he asked, "Why do they call you Fred?" Fred looked at the boy for a long minute, the boy fidgeted with the scrutiny. "Now that is a good question, and a decent story to go with it." Fred took another swallow of his beer. "A very good story indeed.

"Like all stories, this one started with a party, it seems. Well, more than one party in this case. You see, Jelly, your dad and I grew up in different worlds, even though we went to the same school. My parents set a hard line between what they considered "right" and what they considered "wrong". So after I graduated high school and started hanging out and partying, I realized that I really didn't want to let word get back to my parents of what I was doing. So at this time, I was constantly using an alias. I typically used a simple name like Bob." Fred was in full blown storyteller mode. He was relaxed from the bet, and the words just flowed.
Continuing, Fred said, "So the story of my nickname began before I started hanging out with your pops. At the time, I was hanging out with my friend, Judd. He was throwing a party at his house, and I was there, just having fun when I ran into an old friend, David. He and I were shooting the shit, catching up, when some random girl came up to me and said, "I know you, what's your name?""
Jellybean was on the edge of his seat, enthralled, imagining this world that his uncle was describing. Fred took another swallow of beer. It was almost gone. He needed another, but was caught up in his own story and wanted to finish it first.
"Now, I didn't know this girl, and I wasn't sure what she thought she knew about me. And well, I just didn't want to find out either. So before I knew it, my drunken mind was responding. " You don't know me, because I don't know who you are. " My logic was sound. She replied with saying what my real name was. I freaked, maybe she really did know me, but I definitely couldn't remember her. But before I could say anything, she turned to my friend and told him she knew him too. Then she called him by his real name. All I could think of was, who was this person and why were they here. My friend saved me though. He responded right quickly with, "no, you don't know us. My name is Fred and his name is Bob." Whew, I was saved. I quickly seconded this notion. We spent the next hour messing with this girl, denying our true identities. It was a great party."
Fred looked down at his empty beer. He then looked at his rapt audience, and decided that no labor was better than child labor. Laughing to himself about all the things that was wrong with that thought, Fred spoke to Jelly, "Go over to that fridge and get your uncle a beer, and get yourself a coke. But be quiet so your granny doesn't hear you and get us in trouble." Jelly nodded his head and jumped right up. "Yup, you gotta train them young to mind." Fred thought to himself. While he was waiting on the boy to get back, Fred pulled out his one hitter, and took a few pulls. Just getting his head right. Exhaling, Fred saw Jellybean walking back to him with a beer and a come. Fred grinned, the boy even walked like his daddy. "I guess some things are genetic," Fred mused.
Taking the beer from Jelly, the boy seated himself and took a pull from his coke. Fred popped the top, and looked at Jelly. "That was your grandpa's favorite sound. Yeah, UNC liked to drink, but he was a good man." Fred paused, getting lost in the memories. Jelly sat patiently for a minute, but only a minute, he was a young boy after all. The fidgeting brought Fred back to the present. Remembering the story, but not sure where he was at, he asked Jelly just that. "So, where was I?" He queried Jelly. Jelly responded, "you were at the party." Jelly was fully involved in the story.
Fred paused, then spoke. "The first party or the second?" He asked Jelly. The confused look on the boy's face was answer enough for Fred. "So, we left that party confusing that poor girl. The next weekend, your pops threw a party. I'm outside the apartment where your dad, Durty, lived at the time with your grandpa, UNC, his girlfriend, Shells, and their chiwawa, killer b, just having a beer talking with some friends of your pops when these girls came up. I later learned their names, Booty and Mex, but this was the first time I had met them so I didn't know their names yet. So these two don't know me either, and they wanted to know my name. I thought to myself, " here we go again. Another group of broads that wanted to know my name." Of course I didn't want to tell them my real name, so I said my name was "Bob". The guys I was talking to laughed as they knew that wasn't my real name. The girls weren't stupid and quickly picked up that this wasn't my name." Fred took another swallow of beer. He was drunk now. He looked at his phone. It was almost his bed time. He knew it was fixing to be the boy's bed time. Time to wrap this story up.
Speaking again, Fred picked up the pace of the story. "The girls immediately started to argue that this wasn't my name. Then Booty said I looked like a Fred. Then Mex chimed in with the fact I looked like sponge Bob, a popular cartoon character of the time, and boom! They started calling me " Fred Bob Squarepants". Your aunt Booty still calls me that. But Durty came to my rescue, walking up saying that they couldn't call me that, that my name was Fred Bob, Jr. And it stuck. A few months later, your pops convinced me to get it takes on my arm, but that's a story for another day." Fred swallowed the last of his beer. He looked over at Jellybean, the boy hadn't hardly had any of his coke, and his head was nodding on his chest. Fred smiled and picked the boy up. Jelly stirred, waking up slightly. To reassure him, Fred spoke calmly, "It's time for bed." Jelly nodded sleepily.
Fred carried the boy inside and put him into bed. As he was tucking in Jelly, the boy asked a sleepy question. "Where did my nickname come from?" Fred started laughing. "That's a quick story," he replied, "the first time your granny saw you, she said you were so cute she just eat you up like a jellybean. And it stuck." Fred kept on chuckling, teasing the boy slightly, "You had just better be glad your granny doesn't eat human."
Jelly was silent for a moment, then came his sleepy reply. "I wouldn't taste very good, I didn't bathe today." Fred threw back his head in amusement, laughing loudly. "Sleep well, boy. Tomorrow, if you're good we can go fishing at the pond." Jelly smiled and curled into his blankets drifting off into slumber. Fred walked out  of the room, turning out the lights, still chuckling to himself. "That boy was every bit his father."