Tuesday, December 4, 2012

If only things would never change

Rain.
It comes pouring down, beating hard upon the roof. I lay in bed, listening to it come down, missing you. I wonder if you miss me, I wonder if you even realize I'm gone; so caught up in your world.

Life ends, life begins.
A friend shoots himself in the head. A child is born to happy parents. Both happening at the same time, and I'm a bystander looking at other's lives.
I once thought I would be there, be the father, stand by your side as a husband. I never thought I would be alone. And yet it is so fitting. Exactly what I deserve.

Rain. It continues to fall.
There are days where I wish I could forget. Forget how awesome you are, how happy I was to hear you laugh. The silence rules my life.
I know it's for the best. I was never a part of this world, so I can't enjoy the fruits of life. I am the ghost, nonexistent, ephemeral. A specter, a dream, a figment of imagination. I will soon wake from this dream into the next, and my journey will continue.

Rain. It's my only consolation.
I wonder if you lay there, listening to the rain, thinking of me. Can you hear my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Or am I only dreaming?....sorry, 80's moment.

I wish my head were an etch-a-sketch so I can shake it clean and forget how wonderful you are and how you made me feel. I never expected anything different. I just want to forget perfection.

Rain. Let it wash me away, like a ghost into fog, and vanish in the night.

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