Decisions. Choices. Thoughts. Regrets. Pain..sadness.
Emotions.
Things running through my head. My tooth hurts and my subconscious runs amuck. Amuck. Amuck. Amuck.
I realized today that I'm not crazy, I'm just mad. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know the difference between sanity and insanity, yet I still talk to myself. And sing badly to songs that I don't know all the words to. There, my secret life is out. In the open for all to see. Now, doesn't that feel better?
Except, we can't let all the secrets out. Got to keep me locked away deep inside. The little secret that no one knows. Except me. Damn my eyes.
My tooth hurts, my guts hurt, my chest sometimes hurts (I think that's mostly gas.) I'm dying. Well maybe not immediately, but it's going to come one day. I mean, in that sense we are all dying. I just suspect mine is sooner rather than later. But then I court death. Living on the edge.
I hear voices outside my window. But that's not possible, I'm thirty feet off the ground. Maybe I'm just hearing voices.
Ohhhh the stories I could tell. I should be writing those instead of these sad pleas for help. I am slowly accepting the course for my life. It's hard fighting pre-determined destinies. Another life I will find my happiness, just not this one.
I try to be happy, I try to move on. I gave up trying to forget. Easier to forget my own name.
I gave up. Trying was too hard. Acceptance is easier. Resistance is futile.
I laugh at myself. I try to stay positive and it goes to shit. The worst part is I know you're reading these.
Never question my ninja.
Time for happiness in dreams.
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