Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Hopelessness reins

Stretching his aching back, he blinked his eyes. They were so grainy from being up so long, but he was finally done. He surveyed his accomplishment. It had been a long night building, but he felt the cart would hold up to the journey. He feverishly prayed it would. 


Her condition had remained unchanging through the night. He had carried her downstairs, and laid her nearby so he could keep an eye on her while he worked. She had sleep in a shallow sleep, resting without rest. Her fever had never broken, but he wasn't sure if it had gotten worse or not. He really needed the doctor now. She was starting to look peckish, her cheeks starting to sink in and her skin seemed gaunt. 


He took a drink of water, the sun was starting to rise. It was time to get going. It would be a lot quicker trip with the horse and cart, but he was still hours away from getting help. He gently open her mouth, pouring a little water into her open mouth. She swallowed reflexively, coughing slightly. At least her motor skills were still working. That seemed promising to him. At this point, he felt like he was grasping straws to find hope. 


Making sure she was as secure as she could be, he quickly went through the house gathering supplies. He had no idea how long he would be gone. Putting everything into the cart, he went to get the horse. As he walked to the pasture, he looked at the plow staring at him. He should be planting crops. If he didn't get the crops in the ground soon, they would have nothing to eat come winter. Shaking his head, he pulled his mind back to the task at hand, this was simply more important. 


Whistling for the horse, he waited as it came near. He had never gotten around to naming it, even though she had insisted for about 3 months after he first gotten the mare. He didn't want to name the animal. Naming things created an attachment he simply felt he couldn't afford. When the day came to put the horse down, or sell it, he didn't want to be sentimental. She had told him that he was being foolish, and went ahead and named the mare "Annie". Now, he talked to the horse continuously as they worked. Sometimes, he wondered how much Annie really understood. 


Annie nuzzled him pulling him from his thoughts. She wanted her morning treat. He had forgotten all about it, being so pre-occupied with getting the cart ready. It was really an old hay wagon that he had modified, shortened and shored up. He hoped it would hold up for the journey. Apologizing to Annie, he walked her down to the gate. It was time to be going.


Soon, he had Annie hooked up to the "cart". She was used to the plow, but not so sure about his new contraption. Shrugging his shoulders, he just ignored her plaintive looks. We all had to do things we didn't like. Finally having everything in place, he lifted his love into the cart. She weighed practically nothing, but she never really did. Plus he was a large strong man. He could do more than most men, lift more, hold more, work longer, he simply had more stamina. 


Climbing in the cart, he settled himself, and flicked the reins to get Annie going. She gave him a reproachful look, and started pulling. They were off. The sun was just rising above the horizon, spreading its warm rays across the earth. He could tell it was going to be another scorcher. He knew he would have to hurry to get his love to the doctor before the heat of day. He prayed that she made it at least that long. She looked so pale. 


Ripping his gaze away from her face, he turned his attention back to guiding Annie. He needed to make time. He clucked the reins to get a little more speed out of Annie. She wasn't used to going at more than a plod, so she wasn't really pulling as hard as she could.


Time was going to be his enemy. He looked at his love. "Soon, my love, soon I will get you the help you need."

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