and the silence was deafening

The silence was deafening. 
He thought for sure he would have heard something by now, but the quiet remained. 
Life was surreal nowadays.  Nothing had been the same.  The laughter was a little forced,  the smiles fake.  The pills made him go through the day, numb unfeeling. He just went through the motions,  the process of being alive. 
As he lay there,  he realized he would give everything up for a laugh.  A giggle.  The twinkle in her eye. Instead,  he found nothing. Just clicking of a keyboard. 
Silence. 
The memories just never went away,  like she was in his bloodstream,  in his head,  in his heart.  But unattainable,  like trying to hold the moon in your hands.  It seems possible until you try,  then you are left with nothing. 
Silence. 
He never understood why.  He knew the reasons, logically,  but his heart just cried.  And cried and cried. 
He found another and tried to pretend,  but realized that he couldn't ever fill that hole that she left. 
Silence.
It was deafening.  Maddeningly quiet and still.  He felt insane.  The pills only numbed him, they didn't remove the desire.  They didn't quiet the monster. It screamed to be realized, to be released,  to taste her. Her moisture,  her desire,  her seductiveness. He longed for the days when hours would go by without a word only to break the silence with a hello.
He dreamed of her in his arms,  of things they did,  the closeness they shared. 
Silence.
Life was a dream now,  maybe a nightmare. It was full of misery and sadness and longing. His life was full of regret.  And only she could solve it. 
Silence. 
It was all he had now.  All he knew. 
Better to fade away into the night, his desire wouldn't be controlled. 
Good night,  sweetness. Good bye, kind heart. 
He wished he could see her smile,  hear her laugh, kiss her mouth and hold her tight and never ever let go. 
Instead,  silence reigned. 
It was deafening.