Missed occasions

Did you see me today? Standing behind you in line at the coffee store? I heard you order your skinny mocha latte with no foam.  I tried to pretend I hadn't.  The instinct to flee the situation rose hard inside me.  Maybe that wasn't you,  maybe it was my imagination. 
It wasn't though.  I'm not that lucky.  I had buried my face in the paper,  slowly moving forward like the rest of the sheep, hoping that i was wrong.  And then you begin berating the poor guy who made your drink wrong.  Why can't you be normal,  why can't you just order a coffee?
I left,  I couldn't stand it any more.  I didn't need the coffee anymore anyway.  I was awake now.  The blood pumping through my veins, ice cold,  like the breath of death was on my skin.  I could feel death laughing behind me, rejoicing in my discomfort; he does this often. 
I thought a walk would clear my head,  I didn't have to go far,  but it was far enough.  Three blocks in and I regretted my decision.  There you were ahead of me getting on a bus,  looking sad as wistful.  My heart ached and I wanted to go to you.  But I didn't move.  My mind refused to listen to the impulses of my heart.  My body continued walking. 
I don't know why I'm tormented with the sight of you.  Every time,  my heart skips a beat,  my pulse races,  and my mouth goes dry.  Am I that afraid to have to speak to you?
The walk was short,  yet seemed an eternity.  How was that even possible? How does time stop yet move forwards at the same time? I saw you every where I looked.  The woman on the bench resting.  The old man feeding the pigeons,  they were all you.  How could i be surrounded by you, yet feel so very alone?
I entered my building,  hoping my task would ease my sorrow.  I was wrong.  You can't escape your heart,  you can't escape your demons. You can't escape your past.  I rode the elevator in silence,  refusing to make eye contact with anyone,  I didn't want to see your eyes staring through my soul.  I rode past my floor three times without realizing it,  so lost I was in my sorrow.  I couldn't take it any more.  I walked past my desk and stared out the window.  I wonder what it would feel like to fly through the air.  Would I feel the stop at the end?
I realized that the tears were streaming down my face.  You have broken me.  I can't anymore.
I didn't remember reaching the roof,  I didn't remember stepping over,  I just hoped the pain would end quickly.